HELEN  [Shouting through the door]  Okay Simon can you paint? Do you know anything about art?

SIMON   Yeah I studied it whilst doing my criminal forensic diploma investigating adults who do not rear children properly.

HELEN   Okay. Go and design a picture with an apt title of the most influential politician in the last ten decades whom the electorate believe to be the most altruistic.

Another knock at the door! Rat a tat!

HELEN      Christ almighty! Can't there be any peace for the wicked?

BEN           Yeah come here my little witch!  [sexily grabs her]

HELEN    [shouting through the door]  Yeah what is it? This time?

Ext. Cleaning Cupboard

HELEN      Right! Come on then fantasy time! Make my day!

BEN          Well, umm, there is the Mellor Chelsea boxer shorts one where you  dress up as a Liverpool supporter and bend over the sink?

HELEN     Nah ! Don't like football!

BEN         What about playing hard to get? Not tonight Camilla?

Scene 7 [cont...]

Helen rummages around and pulls out a scrap of paper and begins to read :

HELEN   :  Title : Only one eggcup - a frozen moment of grief.

Only one eggcup to put out now, now that you're gone

You gave me three eggs, but that's another song

They were my kids deserting me

For mummy's new man.  [Helen rubs her eye]

Scene 7 [cont...]

BEN   Well Miss I have actually experienced a multitude of positions in my young life an' could literally give you a list if you want. It depends what you want? I'm Mr. Easy. My last girlfriend called me 'Sunny Side Up' but I think she was a bit bisexual.

HELEN    [breathlessly panting] Go on! I'm all yours! All channels of communication are open!

Scene 7

Int. store cupboard. Day One[cont...]

It is hot and stifling and Miss Miton's make-up and mascara are dripping down her face.

BEN   Good gawd Maam!

HELEN   What's the matter? Get in and put the frigging mat over there! An' call me Hell Raiser Babee in future with that cotton wool in your cheeks Godfather gargling with Brobat husky kinda voce! It turns me own. OK?

Scene 6

Int.store cupboard. Day One. Four pm.

Ben is in the store cupboard. It's a large windowless walk-in cupboard the size of a small study. I's cluttered with caretaking stuff. There is a gentle tap on the door outside and he lets Helen in.

HELEN   Ben. About this morning. It was great - really - but this little voice in my head keeps telling me I_

He kisses her. She kisses him back. Then.

Scene 4

Int. classroom. Day One. Afternoon

Helen is with her class. She looks at her clock - it's 3pm.

HELEN   Right. I like to end each day by reading a book.

[They look excited] Before I start, can anyone tell me the name of a good story writer?

All hands shoot up.

HELEN   Emma.

EMMA   Joanne Rowling

Scene 3 [cont]

The staffroom door opens and Ben Lovett, the caretaker, enters. He is mid twenties and deeply, ruggedly handsome. We see him as Helen sees him - in a shimmery golden haze, moving in slow motion and accompanied by that Diet Coke music. Helen's eyes follow him as he comes up.

HELEN   [To cam] And then I realise - I stay for the kids obviously.

BEN      [He has a lovely attractive burr] Morning Helen.

Scene 3

Int. staffroon. Day One. Morning. Studio.

This is a bright cheery staffroom with comfy chairs, coffee tables, notices on the wall and a sink in the corner with coffee stuff. There are five women in the room, but we'll only meet three. Linda Sweet [40 ish] is at her pigeon hole, Wendy Youngblood [22] and Clare Tunney [late 20's] crosses to Helen as she enters.