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Anyone got a job for me?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by critch, Nov 15, 2008.

  1. wobbly bob

    wobbly bob I've got a zappy little nappy

    that's pretty much what i'd have said, if i had the intelligence to understand and explain complex theories and stuff....:blushing:
     
  2. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    The fallow field of unemployment [new song!]

    In the UK after a certain qualifying period of officially being unemployed you should be entitled to the following :

    i] a mandatory Careers Guidance Course for 2 weeks initially, then 13 weeks , and they pay you an extra £15 per week supplement on top of your benefits. The drawback is if they think you are not seriously looking for work and take any job that is available they can sign you off and stop your benefits.

    ii] An In Biz programme under New Deal where they will help you into self-employment for six months paying an extra supplement each week [can't remember how much]. You have a business advisor who shares your business bank account with you as a joint signatory and you have to be serious in your intentions because you are monitored through three stages until you are actually in business.

    iii] Tax credits [actual money given to you weekly on top of your earnings] can supplement your income for the first year of part time job depending on a sliding scale of certain thresholds of earnings. If you are over 50 you get an extra amount which is quite generous.

    If you have been paying tax this year/ last year you may be in line for a healthy tax rebate after 5/4/09 fiscal year ending so keep all your paperwork up to date and if you were self-employed don't miss the 31/1/09 tax return deadline on pain of death!

    Good luck [BTW this all could change next week when our Darling exchequer announces his next mini budget proposals!].

    Hope the above helps anyway!

    chrs
    andi :m2:
     
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2008
  3. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    Cheers - it does help. It's a first for me and I don't even know where the office is! That's the least of the worries though...

    Thanks Andi
     
  4. Bob Jacobs

    Bob Jacobs Ride away in style

    Sorry to hear that Critch. Glad you're keeping a positive attitude. I've been told my job is "at risk" so I may be joining you on the dole queue soon but I'm still in there fighting for now. I should know my fate by 19 December. Nice timing!

    Bob:cuss:
     
  5. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you


    Great timing yeah! It's incredible really - it's all gone pear shaped so quick. Does anyone know if recessions are like that? I've lived through a couple, but I was young so it didn't really have any impact on my life so I never noticed!
     
  6. wobbly bob

    wobbly bob I've got a zappy little nappy

    the faster and further it all goes down, the more scope there is for it all to build back up again!

    i reckon the bar stewards who got us into this sh1t are already rubbing their hands together at the prospect of the upturn as we type. and all the riches that will no doubt be coming their way...
     
  7. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Enterprising times?

    There a lot of brokers who are saying it's now the right time to buy shares as things can only get better on the stock market and can't get a lot worse. Even the Sunday Telegraph was recommending buying shares in Enterprise Inns plc having seen their shares go down by 90%. Maybe it is the time for some of you to change your Cash ISAs [max £3600] to Stock ISAs [max £7600] considering the interest rates ain't going nowhere at the moment. Probably the same across the pond but even more uncertain times ahead maybe?

    cjrs
    andi :iamwithstupid:
     
  8. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    I found the excert I was looking for....

     
  9. scotpaulabear

    scotpaulabear Halfway up my own guitar, propping up another bar

    Douglas Adams, total genius :biggrin:

    Best of luck to everyone on the job crises! :bored:
     
  10. wobbly bob

    wobbly bob I've got a zappy little nappy

    i really hate the fact that a bunch of stock market speculators (parasitic scum) can bring the whole system crashing down for no good reason. long-standing businesses going bust, good people thrown out of work, maybe losing their homes... marriage break ups, mental breakdowns, suicides, crime on the increase..

    makes me so mad!:angry:
     
  11. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Money is a contagious disease didn't you know?

    Why need more than you need? Why envy people with more than you? Does money-making equal intelligence or show your devotion to a wasted life revolving around money?? How many hours a day do you worry or think about money? This is why Spinoza died a pauper, he was too intelligent to bother about accepting honorariums and spending his time advancing his status materialistically in society. Similar to Mahatma. And Einstein. K.I.S.S. is a good acronym in business parlance which should be used in normal life.

    andi
    "why put flowers on my grave when I'm dead?... why have I worried about people for so long?... I think you are all right and it's me that's all wrong... and I hated myself when I was living" RH :coolgleamA:
     
  12. wobbly bob

    wobbly bob I've got a zappy little nappy

    good post, mate!

    people are greedy, i guess. and the whole system is based on greed, and the media plays it's part in feeding the greed machine... 'buy this, you need that, worship fake celebrities, envy them, want what they have....'

    the more material stuff people have, the more miserable they tend to be... maybe it's cos they're already caught up in the consumerist/materialist trap, where they always 'need' the next new thing, and nothing ever satisfies that need...?
     
  13. NoCelebrity

    NoCelebrity Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    Where do I buy "Naked" Shorts?

    I think the stock market speculators come about third or fourth in the chain of responsibility, chronologically. I'm waiting for the investigation into those selling shorts in a coordinated (illegal) way or selling lots of stock short without borrowing it first (also illegal, a "naked short").

    Why can you sell something you don't own (only in securities and futures) but you can't own something you don't buy? Originally, shorts were seen as a valuable tool to balance supply and demand when there were only buyers in a market... Earlier this year, the "uptick rule" was eliminated (you couldn't sell short without an uptick in the stock's price -- no more) making shorts more powerful. Recently, certain shorts were banned for a few days or weeks, to "investigate" (scare the crooks) and lend stability.

    The laws of supply and demand are different in the real world.
     
  14. Bob Jacobs

    Bob Jacobs Ride away in style

    Hmm.. the day I take investment advice from a madcap like you is the day I resign the human race!:m3:
     
  15. Bob Jacobs

    Bob Jacobs Ride away in style

    Naked shorts

    Saturday's Guardian had an interesting article by George Soros on the nature and causes of the current crisis. It came from the New York Review. Have you seen it? It's a fascinating, if difficult, read. There's also a chilling analysis of Cheney's power over Bush and the things he's got away with, by one David Bromwich, but that's by the by. Soros identifies lots of dodgy derivatives that grew like topsy, till no one could work out where the risk lay and who was liable for what. Then the crows came home to roost... Selling what you didn't own, and was worthless anyway, was a sure way to make a profit till you were rumbled, but once you were rumbled, trust was gone and that caused the whole house of cards to collapse on the falling dominoes, to mix metaphors slightly ...

    Bob
     
  16. wobbly bob

    wobbly bob I've got a zappy little nappy

    well, whoever's more or less to blame than whoever else, they're all a bunch of sh1ts!

    that much i DO know!
     
  17. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Shares amongst friends

    That's a shame because the index went up by 10% in one day!

    andi :D
     
  18. NoCelebrity

    NoCelebrity Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    I noticed this morning (Wednesday) the banks in America finally started lowering their interest rates again. I guess they decided hoarding all that money in their bank vault's mattress wasn't making them any money. Thousands applied for new loans.

    If I knew just how much money is sitting idle (billions if not trillions), I'd know whether now is the time to reinvest (oops, I didn't cash out yet. I prefer to own something).

    Panic can drive out smart investors along with the naive. Then the robber barons buy up our companies cheap and wait for the inevitable rebound. They can afford it. Most of us other grunts aren't so lucky.

    Value your family and friends (a Thanksgiving wish to all my Stormcock friends). Their help will get us through our economic downturn.
     
  19. HarperPR

    HarperPR My destiny offers me up like a lamb

  20. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    Turns out someone did have a job for me.... Looks like I got one today - awaiting paperwork and stuff but got offered one today! Yay!

    :hurray::cheers2::17:
     

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