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Guess how much Critch weighs Poll?

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by aspwatterson, Jun 14, 2008.

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Critch's weight guess Poll in stones

  1. Below 9

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Between 9 - 10

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Between 10 - 11

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Between 11 - 12

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Between 12 - 13

    1 vote(s)
    33.3%
  6. Between 13 - 14

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. Between 14 - 15

    1 vote(s)
    33.3%
  8. Between 15 - 16

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  9. Between 16 - 17

    1 vote(s)
    33.3%
  10. Elephantilian

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Guess how much Critch weighs in stones fully dressed in his yatching kit?
    The following formula may help :

    X - Y = <a - [Z - V] + b> x c squared
    2


    Where X = Boat Model RS200 weight acceptance parameters of crew;
    Y = Boat Model RS400 weight acceptance parameters of crew ;
    V = Critch's naked weight in the morning ;
    Z = Critch's naked weight in the evening taking into account
    the weight of ballst in his beer belly after imbibing all day ;
    a = Maximum counterbalance weight of the fully clothed crew after
    after lunch
    b = Weight of Critch's wet clothes
    c = Variable maximum force of wind and waves in event of tsunami
     
  2. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    Lol. What's the prize for the first one to get the right answer andy?

    Can i enter? ;)
     
  3. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Messing about on the river of life...

    Well obviously you've recognised that the amount of variables present [from unquantifiable corporeal deficiences to vagaries of environmental intangibles] it is only soluable through a Hors D'Ouvres of a differential Calculus starter followed by an algebraic mixture of curry of Chaos Theory for afters.

    Having not seen you in the flesh Critch, [you can always post here a picture of your physical physique to help us decide?!], I would guess as above, in the first vote in the Poll, considering your undoubted muscular athleticism and necessary counterbalance to keep you upright to stop you being shark meat. Maybe slightly heavier.....?

    You can provide the prize if someone guesses exactly your weight on the bathroom scales in the morning to the nearest pound perhaps? The prize could be crewing with you?

    You can always give us a clue and tell us the difference in price of the aforementioned boats divided by your weight? This maybe help us and you to either lose weight or factor out the worthwhile/less difference in expenditure directly relevant to your latent obesity compared to your ideal normal sparsity of human bodily frame?


    chrs
    andi
    :iamwithstupid:

    ps No obviously you cannot enter the Poll yourself because you are a direct representational proxy of your approximate proportional dimensional self which would destroy any objective credence given to unknown variables used as factors in the equation per se.
     
  4. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Prize

    The prize could be an invitation to crew with you one day perhance?

    I got rescued from the Solent heading out to France on a piece of polystyrene once and was on the front page of the Torygraph as 'Reluctant trio rescued '!



    andi :dupe:
     
  5. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    Take it that even if you were right, then you wouldn't want the prize of crewing for me for a day then? :)
     
  6. wessexy witch

    wessexy witch I've got a zappy little nappy

    :confused1:
     
  7. Green Man

    Green Man Guest

    Before I make my guess, has Critch had any bad bouts of gastro-enteritis recently?
     
  8. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    No, but i do have a headache. Does that help?
     
  9. Green Man

    Green Man Guest

    Does your weight fluctuate due to migraine? If so, I need to factor that in, Critch. :wink:
     
  10. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    No. It stays relatively constant although i do feel heavier when i have a headache.
     
  11. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Critch's weight fluctuation graphics

    I'm sure all those missing brain cells over the years would counterbalance any adverse obesity observed and factored in..

    andi
     
  12. critch

    critch Aye lad, I knew you had it in you

    Fortunately i'm quite a selective drinker. I only drink stuff that kills the stupid brain cells and not the good stuff. Now if i drank stella, i'd be a different matter. You only have to walk round bagdad *cough* st helens on a friday night to see what happens to those brain cells when they encounter 12 pints of european fighting juice and a donner kebab.
     
  13. aspwatterson

    aspwatterson The Unknown Soldier

    Attached picture

    Portsmouth article attached, was also in the DT.....

    aw
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Jul 25, 2008

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