 Dan trembled as he held the calendar in his hand. The day he had been dreading had arrived. Six months ago, when he had pencilled in the message, now seemed like another age. It was there, in his unmistakeable script, and there was nothing he could do to avoid the task in hand - D- Day had arrived. He didn’t relish speaking to his wife, Jean, at all. For six long months it had remained unspoken. She knew it was there, but she had retreated into silence, refusing to acknowledge the event they had both agreed to. “Silence”, she reasoned, “might make it disappear altogether.”
Dan humoured Jean, shrugging his shoulders and pulling his best forlorn look. For five months, it worked. They shimmied along, as couples do, in public, presenting to the world a united front – subconsciously matching clothes in the way that twenty years together has an affect on a couple – her in the crème top; him in the safe Farah trousers she would select for him when they went shopping. For all intents and purposes it was a happy façade – if it wasn’t for the Pinteresque silence that had lodged between them about this immutable event.
“Silence”, spat Dan, “Hasn’t changed a thing, has it?” to Jean, who sat tight mouthed, clinking her tea cup against the saucer in the way that set Dan’s nerves on edge. “Well, haven’t you got anything to say?” Jean set the cup and saucer down and carefully spooned two more lumps into the pale tea. She slowly stirred the sugar, taking care this time to avoid making an undue clinking sound. She set the spoon down and reached out for a scone, which she piled with fresh Devonshire clotted cream and two generous servings of strawberry jam.
“Drinking tea and stuffing your face won’t delay this for much longer, Jean”, sighed Dan, resigned to his wife’s tactics. “I said six months ago, when I wrote it in the calendar, that you would have to make a decision. Please, for Pete’s sake, put that bloody scone down and talk to me, won’t you?”
Jean duly complied, a little taken aback at her husband’s uncharacteristic forcefulness. She looked at Dan and tried a demure smile in the hope that it would diffuse the situation. She blinked rapidly and almost spoke. She swallowed instead, to Dan’s immediate consternation.
“I’m sorry, love, but this just isn’t good enough. I don’t like to have to do it this way – but I don’t see that I have a choice”, said Dan, clearly uncomfortable. “Some things have to be done – for the better, even when it seems like the tough decision, and you’re not going to like what I have to say.”
Jean put her hand to her mouth, the colour draining from her face. She knew the outcome before he said it. The decision she didn’t want to make was being made for her and she felt like she was watching a silent movie play out, in which she took a leading role where the heroine is tied to the train tracks, totally powerless to influence the final reel.
Dan said the words she had tried to deny, which six months of silence had failed to eradicate.
“It’s here – D-Day. Whether you like it or not, we can’t go on like this. I haven’t seen you smile for so long and I have to take some of the blame for that - for not acting sooner. I should have done this ages ago but I did feel sorry for you, Jean – I truly did. But enough is enough. Tonight, you’re going to the dentist!”
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Dentists...
Speaking as someone that recently went through a course of 5 appointments to fix various things that had been neglected for years... I loved this little tale :)
Bonzo Dog Dooh-Dah Band 'Trouser Press 2006'
Two Youtube vids under a Google worldwide first page search for above.
Please explain to the unelightened Pinteresque silence and Farah trousers.
Thanks in joyful anticipation [because I've got the annual trip this year to the dentist out of the way, thank god...but will never pay to have them whitened or my jeans ironed...pants? No, sorry don't wear them!]
andi
Brilliantly written
Excellent stuff Kenny, meticulously observed/imagined and classically suspenseful with a twist at the end.
Bob
Thanks all! Very kind of you
Thanks all! Very kind of you to say so! 'Twas inspired by a visit I made to the dentist yesterday. Nothing I like better than topping up Mr. Private Dental Health's Holiday Fund.
Not sure if you were serious Andy, but for the unenlightened:
Pinteresque alludes to the playwright, Harold Pinter, who's dialogue and scenic action is characterised by silences (long pauses) and inaction, which shouldn't be regarded as ponderous. His plays are quite dark, and the subtle nuances of the lurking menace hides somewhere between the awkward silences and everyday speech.
Farah trousers are comfy, but not very rad. They wash well. My wife loves them. Okay, I have to admit to having owned more than one pair in my lifetime. Damn, that's my street cred shot. I'm sure the dictionary would describe them as "Very sensible."
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Laissez lire, et laissez danser; ces deux amusements ne feront jamais de mal au monde!!
D-Day
This is such a quirky little tale, it made me smile with appreciation.
Several questions sprang to my mind:
1, Why is your hand poised near the zip, on your trousers?
2. What are the 'sensible' shoes being worn en suite with the 'sensible' trousers?
3. How did you post the picture of those trousers? This is something I haven't worked out yet, I suppose one has to fiddle with all of those buttons at the top of this comment window...
Trudging along to MY private dentist now has a further dimension to the expense. Since my recent heart operation, I now have to take a global anti-biotic several hours before any treatment. Damned if I know why, but it's another prescription charge on top of everything else.
Nick
Dental anti-biotic
Me too. It's because the germs that inhabit our gums are known to attack the heart if they get into the bloodstream, causing encarditis.
Do you have to take a rather revolting powder, dissolved in aglass of water?
Bob
Gosh, I never noticed the
Gosh, I never noticed the hand position before. You have smutty minds!
Posting pics is quite easy. Find a pic, or save it to your preferred host of choice - photobucket or flickr, perhaps. Right click, choose properties then highlight and save the URL. Then use the Insert/Edit Image icon in the menus above the message box - it's the one that looks like mountains. Click it, and paste the Url into the Url box.
As Ramsay would say, in high octane style: Pictures in a box. Done.
__________________________________________________________________________ Laissez lire, et laissez danser; ces deux amusements ne feront jamais de mal au monde!!
Nashers
Speaking from the dentist's viewpoint it's a funny old way to earn a living, let alone spending all day giving people what they "need" rather than what they "want". That was one of the reasons I found promoting Roy and Nick's gigs so rewarding as it flipped that particular equation.
Well-written Kenny, it echoes the pre-dental tension of many-a new patient. Months of reassurance and care can eventually dissolve their anxiety, and good aesthetics can really make a difference to their lives.
I've resisted the temptation to incorporate the day job in my own writing - though I have used quite a bit of medical knowledge. One of my readers suggested 'Prostho Plus' by Piers Anthony: an amusing intergalactic romp with an abducted dentist treating myriad aliens' ailing teeth.
A quick word on endocarditis and dentistry - can I suggest that you check that with your cardiologists. It could be that it is still recommended to take antibiotics that close to surgery (and Sue and I are both very pleased to hear you're on the mend, Nick) but recent guidelines – March 2008 – have recommended that antibiotic prophylaxis no longer be given other than in cases where there is a pre-existing oral infection. The reason is that bacteria are released into the bloodstream when you brush your teeth, as well as during a dental procedure, so it may be taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Also, the stat's show that more deaths result from antibiotic allergic reactions than from endocarditis.
More here:
http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/index.jsp?action=byID&o=11938
TTFN
Dave of the Burnham variety