The Trial of Simone Pt. II

Kenny_Wisdom's picture
 
Dave               I do. I’ve got a few photos in my wallet. All I have left. That and the odd phone call, now and then.
 
                        (Dave takes out his wallet and looks inside, at the photos of his kids, for a long time. He looks up at Simone again.)
 
                        Want to see?
 
(He holds out his wallet to her. Simone looks at the wallet but waits a moment before taking it. Then she takes it and looks at the photos.)
 
Simone             That’s the beauty of photography; it preserves memories. Good memories and bad memories. Cute kids by the way.
 
(She hands back the wallet. Dave looks again at the photos and then puts the wallet away in his jacket pocket.)
 
Dave                Thanks. They mean the world to me. I’d do anything to have them back, here with me. I made a terrible mistake.
 
Simone             Really? What?
 
Dave                Letting them go. I know it sounds silly now, but I didn’t feel I had a choice, not then, anyway. She made it sound like they had nothing here, with everything they could ever need on the other side of the world…well, I wasn’t thinking straight as it was…it was a rough time we’d been through.
 
Simone             I didn’t think you could do that – take kids away, overseas?
 
Dave                I signed the consent forms.
 
Simone             You did? What about access?
 
Dave                I thought about that. She said she’d sort it…well, her and, you know, her new partner. They were supposed to pay for the flights, bring the kids over because they can’t travel alone yet – she promised, but then it was all, “Oh, we’ve just got them settled in school” and “Suzanne just started riding lessons, you know it’s the summer here?” and then one year became two -
 
(Beat)
 
I feel like I’m becoming a stranger…to my own family…my kids. They started calling him “Daddy”, you know. Suzanne let it slip.
 
(Beat)
 
 It just came out, like it was normal. “Daddy’s lighting the barbecue,” she said. Barbecue – in December. We sit here shivering and they’re down on the beach waiting for Santa on a jet-ski and she hits me with that. I felt…
 
Simone             What? Useless? Betrayed? She’s just a kid…
 
Dave                I know…I don’t blame her – it’s our mess…I just felt…forgotten. When I talk to them, it’s like they’re forgetting who I am and I’m missing so much. Kids that age – they change so quickly, don’t they? One minute leaping in your arms for a hug and the next they’re too cool for all that – they’d rather be with their mates. That comes around soon enough and I’m not even getting to see that, am I?
 
Simone             Why don’t you go out there then? It’s not just a one-way street, is it? You could travel there, couldn’t you?
 
Dave                It’s expensive.
 
Simone             But worth it, surely?
 
Dave                Of course it is. No question. I just haven’t got much money at the moment. I wasn’t working for a while. Things got rocky. It’s partly what we…started to argue about. Things went a bit quiet at work…well they did, didn’t they, after 9-11? We didn’t see it coming, not at first. Started with our expenses – Management taking a closer look at them, cutting back, telling us to find cheaper hotels, reducing our budgets - should have seen it coming I suppose, but you keep telling yourself it’s just a bad month, things will pick up…
 
Simone             What was it you did?
 
Dave                (Pause)
 
Packet mixes, dried goods, that type of thing. I sold to the Middle East. Cake mixes – just add water, you know? I sold cakes to the Arabs.
 

Simone             You’ve been to the Middle East?

Dave                Yes, I have. When I first joined, that market was really opening up. They loved it. We were one of the first in there. Everything was going fantastically, and then 9-11 happened, and it all changed. I guess people didn’t want the West in a packet anymore. The order books started getting thinner. The atmosphere changed, you know?

 
Simone             Hostile?
 
Dave                Yes, in a way. Those people are extremely generous. You visit them at home, there’s tea and all kinds of sweets, and you can’t refuse - that’s considered rude! Sometimes there’s an entire meal. Then it changed. It just wasn’t so safe moving around and then we were advised to hire security and it all started to go downhill, the cost of that combined with the cancelled orders.
 
Simone             The Company went bankrupt?
 
Dave                No, not that, we just lost too much of the market. I was made redundant and we’d just bought a house. I was the breadwinner since my wife was of the opinion that a mother needs to stay home with her kids before they become social deviants…
 
Simone             Sounds like you don’t necessarily agree with that?
 
Dave                Any kid can end screwed up. All I know is that it would have made a hell of a difference to my marriage if she’d got a job to bring in some cash. As it was, I didn’t have the guts to tell her.
 
Simone            Excuse me? You didn’t tell your wife you got fired? How did you get away with that?
 
Dave                I didn’t in the end, did I? I lost it all. I hung on for as long as I could. Left the house every morning and came back at the normal time.
 
Simone             Jesus! What did you do all day? Sit in the park?
 
Dave                Sometimes, when the weather was good. You’d think it would be easy to spend hours in London, but it was hell. I was so terrified of running into somebody I knew that I was on edge all day. Look, you don’t need me boring you with all this –
 
Simone             Not at all. Other people’s lives fascinate me. I’m a bit of a voyeur in that sense. Carry on.
 
Dave                Where was I? Oh, yes…so that was stressing me out, trying to pass the time until it was time to go home again. Sometimes I pretended to go on business trips, like I used to do. I’d just find the cheapest hotel I could down on the coast. That was depressing, but in a way it was relaxing too. Does that make sense?
 
Simone             I think I can understand that.
 
Dave                But of course it all cost money and it got to me in the end… I mean … Torquay, in November - damp on the wallpaper - money I didn’t have. I’d been dipping into our savings account for a couple of months, as it was. I didn’t see a way out, and when I was home I don’t suppose I was much fun to be around. My wife kept nagging and we kept fighting and in the end we just fell apart and then it all came out. So that was the end of the marriage. She said I was a coward for not telling her. Obviously I was never to be trusted again. “Just like all men” she said. Do you think men can’t be trusted?
 
Simone             (Pause)
 
 If I were being kind I’d say that men sometimes appear to have a different view of reality than women.
 
Dave                And if you were to be unkind?
 
Simone             I’ll be unkind later.
 
Dave                (Thinking)
 
She moved back in with her mum and took the kids with her – my name was mud, of course – and then she met her new bloke while on a night out. She couldn’t get a job in the daytime - but it is all right for her to be out at night? As it turned out this bloke had an uncle in Australia that needed help with his business, and next thing she ups sticks and leaves. I had to sell the house and I end up in a bed-sit.
 
Simone             You said it would have made a difference if your wife had a job, but you didn’t tell her the truth about losing your job? Do you think you deserved to be trusted? It seems clear to me that –
 
Dave                It does, does it? I guess for you it’s all black and white then? I am not proud of what I did. If I could turn the clock back I’d do things differently, of course I would. But you weren’t there so you don’t know what it was like – no one does, until it happens. Things just happened, they spiralled out of control. It started with a lie – a little white lie – I didn’t know it would go on so long. I was going to get another job – tell her then. Tell her I’d been looking around, that this would be good for my career – she didn’t need to know I’d lost my job and have all that worry. It wasn’t about trust then was it? I was doing it for love. I wanted to protect them, all of them. Get things back on track, just tighten my belt a little bit, and move on. I thought I’d just walk into a job; start doing what I’m best at. Sales – it’s in my blood. I get off on the buzz, the whole “schmooze”. Setting up the deal, pushing and prodding until it’s closed. Anticipating the next move, being ready for it. If you know what’s coming next you can’t get caught out – 
 
(Simone stifles a giggle)
 
Hey, what’s so funny?
 
Simone             I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you, honestly. It’s just something you said.
 
Dave                What?
 
Simone             About the lies
 
Dave                What of them?
 
Simone             The whole thing. The Middle East. Iraq. It all started with a lie, didn’t it?
 
Dave                Yes…but they sold it to us, didn’t they?
 
Simone             And we bought it.
 
Dave                A funny thing, though. Not Iraq…that’s different. What I did. You know, I really wasn’t trying to deceive anyone. Things just took a turn for the worse. Do you see that? Is it clearer now?
 
Simone             I see it. I know what you’re saying. It’s just, well, in hindsight, wouldn’t it have been better to tell the truth earlier rather than later? No one seems to have the guts to do that these days, do they? I don’t mean to say I think you’re a dishonest man – what’s your name? I don’t think I caught it?
 
Dave                David. I prefer Dave though. And you?
 
Simone             (Laughing)
 
 I prefer Dave too.
 
Dave                No I meant –
 
Simone             I know! I’m Simone.
 
Dave                I like that. Pretty name.
 
Simone             It means, “She heard” in Hebrew. I’m a good listener. I like to people watch – anyway, what was I saying?
 
Dave                I’m not a dishonest man –
 
Simone             That’s right. I mean I doubt you set out to be deceptive, but once you knew, you could have avoided a whole heap of trouble, surely? Is that a fair comment?
 
Dave                 In retrospect, it is. But then I suppose, looking back, I’d do so many things differently. No point in living a life of regrets is there? I spent long enough feeling sorry for myself as it is, until I got myself back on my feet again.

                        (The station tannoy crackles. It whines with feedback, then pops. Rock N roll music plays for a few seconds. The speakers whine before falling silent again. Dave looks up at the speakers. Simone does not react)