The Stormcock Community

                        You’ve got that look. The same one she had. It’s in your eyes. The eyes don’t lie. They never do. Tell a lie…be betrayed by an eye. Right now, I’m your best friend. You’re nice to your friends, aren’t you? Let me look at you.

 

                        (Simone blows gently across Dave’s face)

 

Dave               Don’t do that.

 

Simone           Why, don’t you like it? Is it not soothing?

 

Dave                It hurts my eyes. Stop it.

 

Simone             Don’t you like me this close to you? Does it disturb you?

 

Dave                You make me uncomfortable.

 

Simone             I’m the cool breeze on your face…a gentle wind…does it tickle?

 

Dave                No, it’s pissing me off, actually.

 

Simone            That’s no way to speak, is it Dave? I’m being nice here. You don’t treat people very well at all. You’re very adversarial, you know? You need to work on your people skills. Try being more forgiving, Dave. Give a little. I only wanted to make you feel nice.

 

Dave                Like how? Like this? I’ve got my hands tied behind my back, you’re completely mental and this is supposed to be enjoyable? What would be nice is if you stop this charade right now. Do it now - before someone comes along. If you do I won’t say anything, okay? I promise – but this has gone far enough. You’ve had your joke. Now end it.

 

                        (Simone puts a finger to Dave’s lips, to silence him)

 

Simone            Hush little baby

 

                        It’s no joke. Are you laughing?

 

                        And if that mocking bird won’t sing

 

By the way, who do you think is coming? It’s a quaint idea, but there’s no one coming for you, Dave. I’m all you’ve got. To think, little old me. You and me here, together. Where’s the cavalry? You know what I think? I think they’ve forgotten you. I don’t think anyone is coming for you – do you think that? Honestly?

 

Dave                Any minute now someone’s going to come in here –

 

Simone           If that diamond ring turns brass

 

You’re all alone here. Don’t you know that now? You’re abandoned. Entrusted to my care. In loco Parentis. I’m doing alright so far aren’t I? Keeping you safe? That’s the main thing isn’t it?

 

 

My, haven’t you looked in the mirror lately? You’re beginning to look a little rough around the edges. Quite dishevelled. Where’s your pride? You need to smarten yourself up. Keep up with appearances.

 

Dave                Who for? You said we’re alone, so why the fuck bother? For you?

 

Simone           For yourself.

 

Dave                I do fine as it is. Bitch.

 

Simone           There you go again. Not good. Bad. This is quite simple. I can reward good behaviour as easily as I can punish the bad. “Disrespect” falls under bad behaviour. I have a feeling you know this already. You’re an intelligent man, aren’t you?

 

Dave                Actually, I don’t think I give a shit anymore. Good, bad – indifferent – I really don’t care. In fact –

 

                        (Dave spits at Simone)

                        That’s how much I care!

 

 

Simone           Big mistake, Dave. Big fucking mistake. At least your blood’s up. Passion. That’s good. Fervent fever. Believing in something – all good.

 

                        (Simone takes photographs of Dave)

 

                        Makes for an interesting subject. Better than the Mr. Semi-Suburban of before. Go on – give the camera some more, Dave – ha! Brilliant! More! Pull that face again – look mad – come on, you want to get even, right? Yeah, that’s the one. That’s good. Pull on that chain – look vicious.

 

Dave                Stop! Stop! I won’t play your silly games! You want mad? You got it, right! Let me go and I’ll give you bloody mad. I’ll chew your fucking tongue out. Punch your lights out…you want it, you can fucking have it -

 

Simone           Gracious! Quite the transformation. Who’d have thought you had it in you? From mild mannered Dave to natural born killer - quite the big man, eh? Give a man the right incentive – it’s like a dog with a bone. He can’t let go.

 

Dave                If you got what you came for, then fine, you’ve had it, right? Just fucking untie me now, just fucking do it –

 

Simone           Easy tiger – temper, temper…

 

Dave                Listen to me – enough now.

 

Simone           You need to calm down. Right now you’re too wild. Le sauvage. Just take it down a bit; and then we can discuss terms.

 

Dave               Terms?

 

Simone           Uh-huh. How best we can extract from this situation. We need to be clear on that.

 

Dave               How about I call the police and have you carted off, for terms?

 

Simone           That’s simply not going to happen.

 

Dave               It’s not, is it? I admire your confidence. I’m confident they’ll lock you up and throw away the key.

 

Simone           I wouldn’t say you’re exactly in a position to make that assumption. I have the key, after all. Shall I flush it away? You’re looking uncomfortable again!

 

Dave               There’s a reason. I need to pee.

 

Simone           Why didn’t you say! I’m not unreasonable you know - far from it.

 

Dave               You’ll let me go then? Let me pee? Do that – I’ll pee. You can go then. I don’t need to see you go. I won’t call the police – just end this. Give me the photos and it’s over. Please?

 

Simone            I like it. A plan. That’s good. Cognitive thinking. I’ve a different plan though. Do you want to hear it? Maybe? I’ll tell you anyway. This is how it’s going to play out. First of all, you owe me.

 

                        (Simone wipes her hand across her face).

                       

                        That deserves punishment. I’d expect less from an animal. If you want to behave like a beast, I’ll treat you like a beast. You need to sit up and beg like a dog. Do a good enough job – convince me – and I’ll take you to pee. Don’t, and you can sit there in disgrace.

 

                        (Simone puts the cotton bag over Dave’s head and loosens the chain from the bench, pulling it around Dave’s neck).

 

                        Beg. Bark. Bark like a dog.

 

                        (She tightens the chain again)

 

                        Get down - on your knees. Bark!

 

                        (Dave falls to his knees. He hesitates. Simone pulls the chain again).

 

Dave                Woof. Woof.

 

Simone           Good. Now more. Bark more! Get on all fours.

 

                        I’m taking out some insurance. Keep barking.

 

Dave                Woof, woof!

 

                        (Simone walks Dave through the gent’s door. They exit)